God, I have so much to say; I don't know where to start. If I sit down and reflect it's just like "Am I really working at a hostel bar in Istanbul!!??" I don't think it can really get much better, considering how much I love Turkish people and Istanbul in general. Working here is flat out hilarious with a dash of awkward thrown in on top. I work in the bar with a guy named Volcano (his real name is Vulcan - so Volcano in English), and he is probably one of the most entertaining people I've ever met. We also get along really, really well - I say it in all sincerity that by the time I leave, he'll probably be one of the best friends I've ever had. As he puts it - "we have the same mentality." His English isn't the best, so he picks up all these random phrases that people teach him. Although he's improved immensely, because when I met him back in September, he could barely speak English at all. Anyway, he's constantly making me laugh, whether it's because he puts liberal amounts of mayonnaise on everything (rice, soup, plain bread, tomatoes) or because he's saying things like "I want to open a waffle shop in America with Russian waitresses." Which is genius by the way. Yesterday I gave him a glass of red wine, he took a sip, and said "this needs something", so he proceeded to get out the coca cola and add it to the red wine. Huh. Never seen that one before. He also asks every other girl if she'll marry him "For visa. I don't like you, I hate you, just for visa." This girl and I interviewed him on video the other night, and I really hope she takes the time to edit it and put it up on YouTube, because it would probably be a major hit. Bahaus Guesthouse is the highest rated/most popular hostel in Istanbul, it's full almost every night, and at least every other review that's submitted online mentions how entertaining Volcano is. A YouTube video of him would be gold.

I'm having a bit of trouble adjusting to staying up so late, especially without drinking. I downed like six cups of coffee last night that didn't help at all, but thankfully it wasn't busy and Volcano let me go to sleep at one. I just can't sleep in - I'm always up by 8:30, and I have to be in the bar at 3pm so I never really have time to take an afternoon nap or anything. I definitely think I am solidly a morning person. At midnight last night, I was teaching these two Dutch guys how to play backgammon, and they were taking FOREVER to move each time. I was basically nodding off while they carefully decided where to move their friggin pieces.

I had my first conversation with the owner last night - what a weird guy. When I was here in September I never saw him, but he's been here every night so far, often with his pretty, young girlfriend. Can you say "golddigger". This guy is middle-aged and over-weight, with an unruly mop of hair - they make quite the couple. Anyway, my first two nights he didn't speak to me, and I was reminded of good 'ole Mr. Fox and his "I'm too important to talk to you attitude." But he's opening a new hostel in southern Turkey, and I wrote out all this information about it on a giant whiteboard in my flawless handwriting, so he came to thank me for it. Then he made me sit down, so he could teach me this stupid die game that he had "invented." Then pretty much forced me to go play it with this group of people. Awkward. He told me he had more games to teach me. I can't wait.

I've barely left the hostel all week - it just seems like I putter around all morning, and then I look at the time and it's one or two and I have to start work in an hour. Now that I have some money to spare, I really should be visiting everything . . . entry prices are steep here, but I'll kick myself if I'm here over a month and don't see at least all the important sights. I should get up off my ass right now and go visit Topkapi Palace. I still need to go to a hamam (Turkish bath) as well - this I get for free through the hostel which saves me 50 lira. You'd think I'd have used it already - who puts off a free massage - but people tend to come back and just pass out, and I would have to come back and work for 12 hours . . . Yesterday Volcano and I went to this sketch super market and I found the most disgusting looking Turkish Delight. It was actually just cotton candy, but it looked like balls of cat hair. I took a picture - I wish I could post it, but I'll definitely go back and buy a box before I come home. And give it to some poor soul for Christmas.

I sure am slacking off on this blog a bit. In a way it's a good thing though, because it means I'm spending more time out with my fellow travelers, rather than sitting in front of the computer. I've done so much since I wrote my last post a week ago (wow, time is going way to fast right now), I'll either end up writing a short novella or forget half of what happened.


Last Wednesday, my second day and last day in Bulgaria, we took a day trip with the hostel to the Rila Mountains, which I believe are north of Sofia, but I'm probably wrong. It was my first time in a car since I've left the States, and it was a bit nervewracking. Our driver was up to 160 kph at times, and kept passing cars with minimal amounts of space between us and oncoming traffic. Not to mention his eyes kept fluttering shut on the way home. I don't think their road rules are exactly the same in Bulgaria as they are in the States . . . Anyway, we headed up to a monastery apparently built by some hermit. It was a relatively warm day and exceptionally pretty with all the leaves changing colors. I spent a good deal of time just wandering through an abandoned house and then down to this river. I managed to slip and fall (of course) and jamb my knee pretty badly into a rock - meanwhile, this one girl in our group was prancing around like some sort of monkey in just a pair of converse, making me feel thoroughly uncoordinated. I can't quite figure out when I started falling quite so much, but I don't feel like I use to be this clumsy. I'll go into it more later, but currently my legs look like someone's from a battered women's shelter.



I encountered the worst toilets of my trip at this monastery, (something I would not be saying if I were in SE Asia, but still, wasn't ready for it) basically just a shower floor with a drain - so if you wanted to poo, you'd pretty much be out of luck. The floor was all wet, and I really hoped it was just water, because otherwise I left with pee pants. Not to mention the bats hanging from the ceiling. The real kicker was that I had been down by the river and decided I should probably trek back up to the monastery to use the toilet. What a waste of time and precious energy. Not only would I have saved myself the walk, it probably would have been a lot more sanitary.





We had a 7pm train out of Sofia that night which we bought a liter of vodka for (damn Aussies), as well as a bottle of mystery alcohol from the train station with our remaining lev. Our train ended up being about 40 minutes late, and we're sitting in the station when this beggar comes up to us asking for money. Not one of us has one single Bulgarian coin on us, but the beggar won't leave, so Blaze takes out his wallet and turns it upside down to show that we really don't have anything. A random coin falls out, so he hands it to the beggar. It's not Bulgarian, so he picks it up, examines it, gives us this huge look of disgust and gives the coin back to Blaze. Classic. The beggar actually rejected the money.





We had to get sleepers on the train - not that I'm complaining - it was nice to have a bed, but we ended up hanging out with two guys from the compartment next door - making 5 people in our 3 bed compartment. One of the guys was from Hong Kong, but he was "studying" in Milan. Except he didn't go to class. At all. He was like "I'm just traveling - I'll go back for the exams." And this was his third night train in a row. He trumped us all in cards, and then fell asleep on my friend Josh's bunk in a meditation pose. What a badass.



There was an awkward moment on the train when I went to leave the compartment to use the restroom and someone said something about locking me out. I replied, with the door open to the hallway, "that's fine, I'll stay out here with the conductor, he was pretty hot." I turned around and the conductor (some 60 year old man with perfect english) was standing right there just staring at me. I think I made it even more awkward by diving back into the compartment in a fit of giggles . . .


We got to the Turkish border at about 1 am, and had to get off the train to get visas and passport stamps. I already had my visa, so it only took about 20 minutes, but we stayed at the station for about 2 hours for who knows what reason. We were right by the toilet, and the window was open, so we kept having to listen as people's pee trickled on to the tracks . . . After we left around 3 I managed to sleep until about 8 when the conductor woke us up to give us back our tickets. The best moment of the train ride came then, when the conductor was trying to wake up the guys in the next compartment. All night we had been calling the guy Dave, from Hong Kong, just "Hong Kong", and that morning, the conductor is knocking on their door, but no one is answering, and he just starts shouting "Hong Kong . . . Hong Kong . . . HONG KONG!" So funny.



Walking from the train station to the hostel, I just couldn't keep a grin off my face. I think I'm madly in love with Istanbul. The mosques are such a nice change from all the communist architecture and gussied up "Old Towns" that I've been seeing for the last month and a half. It was nice to return to the same hostel as well - kind of like going home, with all the staff recognizing me. 15 minutes after I'd walked through the door, I was enjoying breakfast on the rooftop terrace in only a tshirt. Despite taking the night train, I was too excited to go to sleep, and after breakfast, I took a walk to the supermarket by myself. I inevitably got bombarded by about 10 men - my favorite being the guy at the stop light: "Lady, oh lady, you dropped something!" I turned to look, despite the fact that I wasn't carrying anything to be dropped. He took the opportunity to saunter up beside me. "This," he said, pointing to his heart. "You dropped my heart." Oooo, I wish they made pick up lines like that in the States . . . really hard not to laugh at that one. Later on that day, I took a walk along the sea with Josh and Blaze, and we were in this fish market about 20 minutes away from the hostel when my sandal broke. I had to hobble all the way back with only one flip-flop. I was walking a bit in front of the boys, and they thought it funny to start calling me a dirty gypsy. I probably did look crazy. We passed a bunch of school children, and they all started pointing and laughing at me. Go ahead, laugh at the stupid American tourist, walking down the middle of the street with only one shoe on. I guess it probably would have made more sense to take both off at that point . . .



That evening we wandered through the Grand Bazaar and down to the Spice Market where you can get really good Turkish Delight, as well as something called Turkish Viagra. I will be bringing home Turkish Delight. I will not be bringing home Turkish Viagra. After being unfortunately groped (twice, by the same man) in the market, we took the ferry over to the Asian side of Istanbul for a bit of dinner. I can't comment much on it, because it was dark, and we didn't do much walking around, but we had a decent fish dinner. Friday night is Belly Dancing night at the hostel, but I think stripper would have been a more apt description of this women. I was unfortunately seated in a prime position, and I have to say I felt a bit uncomfortable, especially when she got down on her hands and knees, with her fake breasts in my face and started swing her head in circles.



I met a nice guy from Dublin on Friday, and on Saturday, we took the ferry to the Princess Islands, located off the coast in the Marmara Sea. We went to the largest island; it's something similar to Mackinac Island on Lake Michigan, except it was rather deserted since it was the off season. The weather was absolutely gorgeous - at least 75 degrees, without a cloud in the sky. We were able to rent bikes for the entire day for only $6, and they were good bikes too, with brand new seats. It was nice to get some genuine exercise for the first time since I left, and I was pleased to see I was in better shape than I thought. We ended up getting really hot, and George took off his shirt, while I stripped down to just a tank, which is pretty much a major no-no in Turkey. It was a Saturday, so there were a lot of Turkish tourists on the island, and we kept getting dirty looks from the women and laughs and points from the men. There were horse drawn carriages, and as they would pass, the passengers would just turn around and stare until they couldn't see us anymore. It was quite an experience, having something that is completely normal at home be considered inappropriate. I certainly felt a bit ashamed.

There weren't any beaches on the island, and the road was up on a ridge, but we managed to find a place to climb down, and we decided to go for a bit of a swim. The water was freezing - probably the coldest water I've ever been in; it definitely took a bit of adjusting too. I was standing in waist high water, but George was already out, so I decided I'd count to three and just plunge in after him. I did, but when I resurfaced I couldn't breathe, because the water had been so cold. I'm next to him, pretty much half drowning - and he's laughing because I just told him how I used to swim competively. It's a bit of different situation being in the sea in November. I'm not going to lie - I'm also a bit afraid of open water. I've spent so much time in the water, and I love it, but I've grown up in a completely land-locked area, and when I can't see the black stripe at the bottom of the pool, I get a little nervous that something is going to come up and bite my toes. Anyway, I survived, and it was awesome, because the Saturday before I was trekking through the snow covered Transylvanian Mountains, and this Saturday I got to swim in the sea.

I could go on forever, but this is actually turning into a novel, so I'm gonna skip ahead a few days, since I didn't do much except drink myself into oblivion, fall a fair few times, and wander around like a zombie. Yesterday (Tuesday) was my first day as official staff at Bahaus Guesthouse. I get a free bed, free laundry, and free homemade food that's quite tasty, but I'll definitely be working quite a bit. I start at 3pm every day and have to stay up until everyone else is done, so I'll probably have some late nights. Tariq, the manager tried to tell me something about making commission for referring people to certain places, but honestly I don't really care. As long as I'm not spending any money, I can't be bothered. They're so concerned about commission here though - everything is sell, sell, sell. Working in Istanbul with a bunch of Turkish people is definitely going to be an experience I will never forget. I think I'm glad I'll only be doing it for 3 weeks - I don't think I can handle the "cheat the tourist" attitude for much longer.

Okay, Volcano (my fellow barman - we're the Bahaus Badasses) keeps bothering me to come eat, so I'll just post this and add to it later . . .

So until about 7 last night I had every intention of going to Belgrade on the 9pm train; I had a hostel booked and a seat reservation for the train. But I was sitting at dinner with these two Aussie guys who were on their way to Istanbul, and I was having a really good time. I haven't liked anyone I've met that much since these two guys in Berlin, and I'm still kicking myself for not changing my plans to go to Amsterdam with them. So when I found myself truly enjoying these guys' company, I just said screw it and got on the 8pm train to Sofia, Bulgaria with them. We're heading to Istanbul (and 70 degree weather) tomorrow night.

When we got on the train, not only did we not have sleepers, there weren't even compartments; it was just a normal car with an aisle and two seats on each side. Through Romania the train was boiling hot. I was stripped down to just a tank and tights - I'd even taken off my socks. Around one when we finished with border control, we decided to go to sleep. There were some Romanian people in our car, but they added another car at the border, and they all switched. We assumed it was because we were being loud, along with another group of three Aussies. So anyway, we go to sleep with hardly anything on (the boys on the floor, me sprawled across two very hard seats), only to wake up absolutely freezing at about four. There was absolutely no heat in the car. I put on about six layers, but I was still freezing - especially my feet. The boys woke me up around 6 because I was sleeping sitting up, with my knees to my chest, and my face buried in between, and they worried I was too cold. At this point one of the guys, Blaze, wandered into the car they had added at the border, only to come back to tell us it was about three times warmer. We moved, and not only was it warmer, it was an eight person compartment with really comfortable reclining seats. Ohhhh - that's why all the Romanians left our car . . . too bad we figured this out with only two hours left in our journey.

Our train was due in at six, but we were actually really happy it ended up being two and a half hours late - the scenery was absolutely amazing. It got light right as we were heading through the mountains, and there was snow everywhere, plus it was all misty - beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. At one point we came out of this tunnel over this rocky gorge, surrounded my mountains lost in the clouds -probably the coolest landscape I've ever seen. I made a mad attempt to get to my camera, but I wasn't quick enough . . . next time I guess.

After a sweet nap on the couch at our hostel, we had a bit of a walk around Sofia today. It was nice and sunny, but there really isn't much to see. It's quite rundown as well, except nowhere near as creepy as Bucharest. The Bulgarians are proving to be even nicer than Romanians; we couldn't find the place that sold train tickets in town, so we went in this random building to ask and the guy walked us there. Tomorrow we're taking a day trip to this monastery in the mountains; it's a bit expensive, but I think it'll be worth it.

It's amazing how traveling with others (especially two guys) takes the stress out of everything. I don't have to worry about drawing attention to myself or getting into some sort of mishap; it's a completely different travel experience - one that is going to make me never want to go home.

I'm ecstatic about going back to Istanbul -the chaos, the smell of the sea, the calls to prayer over the loudspeakers, even the overeager shop owners pawing at every passerby. I couldn´t fall asleep on the train last night because I was so eager to get to Istanbul. I even considered taking two night trains in a row to make it there by tomorrow morning.

So I'm taking my first night train tonight to Belgrade, Serbia. I've heard it's safer to reserve a bed in a sleeper car, but it cost almost $50, so I went and just booked a normal seat. Chances are I'm in for a really long night; depending on who is in my compartment or if it locks or not, I may decide to stay awake. I think I might buy a red bull at the train station just in case. I'm sure I'm just overreacting, but I always get nervous doing something I haven't done before that is potentially dangerous. I'll be on the same train as these four Aussies from this hostel though - there's some comfort in having people on the train that I know, even if they won't be in my compartment. I think I mentioned an annoying Aussie girl that was on my walking tour in both Krakow and Budapest? Well, she and the group she was with in Budapest ended up being at my hostel in Brasov, as well as here in Bucharest. They were annoying at first, but they're starting to grow on me. Today they were debating on where to go next, and I mentioned that Belgrade was a big party place, so they decided to take the train with me over there tonight. We're staying at the same hostel (again), and while they aren't people I would ever be friends with normally, it's nice to see the same faces, and I'm glad I'll have some people to go to the hostel with tomorrow. Serbia seems like a bit of an intimidating place; I think I'm dipping the farthest I've been off the beaten track with this destination. It'll be even more so if I end up with time to stop in Macedonia.

For the next week and a half I'll be puzzling over the Cyrillic alphabet, but Belgrade is a good place to start since they use the Roman alphabet as well. Whereas, Macedonia and Bulgaria are fully dedicated to Cyrillic. I made my own little chart last night and plan on doing some heavy duty memorization on the train tonight. I can already see myself standing on a street corner trying to translate some street name into the Roman alphabet . . .

I made a weak attempt to venture out in Bucharest today, but it wasn't very successful. Not only did I lose the rubber cover to one of my earpieces on my earphones yesterday, the sound randomly decided to stop working in one earpiece, so I decided to go find an electronics store. The streets of Bucharest are quite deserted, and it was making me nervous. While it's probably perfectly safe to be out during the day, it sure didn't feel like it, so when I realized I'd made a wrong turn and pretty much ended up where I started, I wasn't too bummed about just going back to the hostel. I walked back through this deserted park that smelled of dead fish and had a drained lake in the middle filled with pigeons. Oh Bucharest - your charm is irresistible. There are stray dogs everywhere in Romania; it's so sad. I read in my Lonely Planet that there are an estimated 100,000 strays in Bucharest alone. I saw one today sleeping over a manhole, and it was shivering so violently. I almost got tears in my eyes as I walked by. I keep wanting to go and wrap these dogs up in my arms, but while they all seem scared and harmless, I'm not taking any risks. Definitely do not want to deal with a dog bite in Romania.

I left my refreshing mountain town today for Eastern Europe's very own concrete block of shit, Bucharest. I'm sure there are some redeeming factors . . . somewhere . . . but from what I saw, coming in on the train and walking to my hostel - grey, dirty, dilapidated, and 1 stray dog for every 2 people. As the train was pulling in, I almost considered taking a train out tonight, instead of staying at my hostel. I came here with two other girls from my hostel, and as we were walking through the train station I mentioned something about going to Istanbul, and this Romanian man interjected, "Yes, do it now, go to Istanbul, don't even leave this train station - this place is shit." This seems to be the general consensus of all Romanians I've met. It's too bad really, because it's such a beautiful country, and it would help their economy so much if they could turn their capital city into a tourist destination.

We got in at about three, but I went out to eat with one of the girls I took the train with (Italian food, very good - finally had a decent meal in Romania), and by the time we were done it was 4:30. When I went to look for my hostel, I got all nervous because the street names on my Google map were not the same as the names on the actual street signs (thank you Google), and I was terrified I would end up lost in the dark in Bucharest, and consequently meet my demise. Thankfully the map, while wrongly labeled, was accurate otherwise, and I made it to my hostel without a step in the wrong direction. You know, it has really been way too easy this whole time. I'm probably jinxing myself by saying this, but I have not had one single mishap. At all. I've yet to get lost, nothing's been stolen, I haven't felt compromised in any way, I haven't missed a train, plane, or bus, etc, etc. I hear all these stories from other people and just think how lucky I've been. I shouldn't speak so soon - I do still have more than a third of my trip left.
I think I'm just extra thorough and extra precautious because I'm alone. If I were with someone else, mishaps would be more of an adventure. Being alone makes things less of an adventure and more just all out nerve wracking and scary.

This hostel is really nice (probably the nicest place in all of Bucharest, haha), and score! they have a washer AND a dryer. Plus laundry was only 5 lei (<$2). Except all I'm wearing right now are an extremely dirty pair of gym shorts with melted chocolate on the butt and a tank top, and it's a bit chilly. Didn't really think that one through. But it will be worth it tomorrow when I don't smell like BO and stale cigarette smoke.

8 people from my last hostel are here, but no one I really hung out with before. It's okay though; I'm only here for one night, and I'm a little preoccupied with travel plans anyway. My original plan was to take the night train to Belgrade tomorrow night, but today I started wrestling with the idea of going back down to Istanbul for a week, before Spain. I could go into it more, but at this point, I've thought about it far too much, and I'm done with the whole subject. I'm going to Belgrade and that's that. I really do want to go to Sarajevo, Bosnia. I came across some pictures yesterday on the internet - very cool. It's a pain though, because my Balkan Flexipass doesn't work for Bosnia, one of the main Balkan countries, so I'd have to dish out more cash to get a bus to Sarajevo. I guess I'll just worry about getting to Belgrade right now. I feel like my brain is spinning way too fast. I need to focus on one destination at a time, otherwise I get stressed out.

I finally got the map changed now that I'll be leaving Romania - it wouldn't let me change it the last time I tried. But if anyone is curious, I flew into Targu Mures, stopped in a small town called Sighisoara about an hour south of there, I'm in Brasov now (the heart of Transylvania), and will be heading to Bucharest tomorrow.

I just booked a two week flight to Spain - I'm flying into Barcelona and out of Valencia. SOOO EXCITED. The promise of warmer weather and beaches . . . although with my luck, by the time I get there the weather will probably be crap. I can't imagine it will be colder there than it is here though. Right now it's 27 and snowing. I don't think I'm even going to go outside. I was supposed to leave Brasov today, but I got the flu or food poisoning or something disgusting . . . anyway my stomach is all messed up so I'm staying till tomorrow. My flight to Barcelona isn't until the 14th, so I still have 2 more weeks in Eastern Europe. I'm going to get this Balkan Flexipass, which allows 5 days of train travel within a month for only $75. My flights are in and out of Sofia, Bulgaria, so my new game plan is to go Bucharest, Romania to Belgrade, Serbia, then Serbia to Montenegro, Montenegro to Macedonia, Macedonia to Sofia, do Spain, and then I can use my last day of travel to get to Istanbul just in time to do some Christmas shopping and fly home. Wow. Where did the time go? I only have 4 weeks left until I'm back in Istanbul. And I have a feeling the two weeks in Spain are going to go way too quickly. Noooooooooooo. It's disappointing, because it took about a month to really get acclimated to this whole travel deal, and now that I'm really in the swing of things, I have to go home. The good thing is, I think I'll have visited everywhere I wanted to go for the most part. I'm not sure if I'll get over to the Adriatic coast, but I'm really not too bummed since I'll be on the Mediterranean, where it's sure to be warmer anyway.

It's been so peaceful being in Brasov these past couple of days. The town is extremely pretty, nestled at the base of the mountains, and the piney, fresh air is great after being in so many cities. There's a hill to the east of town that has a giant sign at the top a la the Hollywood sign, except it says Brasov obviously. How funny is that? Another example of Eastern Europeans blatantly failing in an attempt to be Western. There isn't too much to do in Brasov, but it's been good to be able to relax in such a laid back place. Unfortunately, I've had bad experiences all three times I've eaten out; I'm not looking fondly upon Romanian food at the moment. Yesterday, I ordered pork stew; it took 45 minutes to come, and when it finally did, not only was it barely warm, it was just pork in sauce. As far as I've known, pork usually means vegetables as well as meat, but the Romanians seem to just favor the meat/heavy sauce entrees.

My time here was slightly marred by this god-awful, older Romanian man who has occupied the bunk beneath me the past few days. Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully, he left this morning. I was about to poison his stale beer that he kept leaving open on the floor next to our bunk. This guy had been working abroad for the past five years and had decided to take a holiday here in Brasov. At a youth hostel. He smelled awful, and our entire dorm room stank because of it. He didn't do anything all day, except watch TV and make opinionated comments about everyone else's countries. One night, he tried to tell me and this other American guy that it was our fault that Romania was in such bad shape, and that Romanian had been struggling since 1929 when the stock market crashed, blah, blah, blah. It was awful having him in the bunk beneath me, and he kept leaving all his stuff on the floor in front of my locker, including open cans of beer and cups of tea, which I proceeded to knock over several times. Learn how to clean up after yourself dude, you're like 45 and staying in a shared sleeping space.

While the hostels in Eastern Europe have all been really great, I've found that none of them seem to have a dryer - a major disadvantage when it's freezing outside and things do not air dry. I haven't done a wash in almost two weeks, but I really didn't feel like wearing the same thing for three days straight while I waited for everything to air dry in the frigid mountain air, especially for $6. So I'm crossing my fingers that the hostel I'm staying at tomorrow in Bucharest has not only heard of a dryer, but owns one as well, because NOTHING I have is clean. I haven't worn underwear in about a week and I'm now wearing the same two shirts for the third day in a row and the same leggings for about the sixth day in a row. It will be so nice to be in Spain and not have to wear half the clothes I own at one time because it's so cold. What will be REALLY nice is when I have more than five pairs of underwear, one pair of actual pants, and a variety of clothes with holes in them. Did I ever mention that I had to cut my jeans into jean shorts to fit them in my bag? Or that I had to throw out my other pair of cargo pants? Let me tell you - I'm pretty stylish with my jean shorts of tights deal, especially when I wear my magenta stockings.

The song "Box of Rain" by the Grateful Dead just came up on my iPod, and it reminded me so much of home, but for the first time, instead of getting a wave of homesickness, I actually felt the opposite. Now that I only have 4 weeks left, I'm starting to panic about going home. No money, no job, a shit car, cold weather, living at home, ten pounds heavier, nicotine ridden lungs, out of shape . . . wow. Now I just made myself super depressed. Man, I planned on writing a lot more, but now I just feel like wallowing in my own self-despair. What a downer.