On Having A Lot of Thoughts

I keep attempting to write something here, and it always turns into a fail. There are just so many things going on, I don't know where to start. My mind is a mess. By the way, please excuse any misspells. I'm having trouble writing in English. I am now wired to write in Arabic script. On paper, I keep trying to write in the Latin script from right to left. It is very confusing. The worst is when I'm typing here, and an Arabic phrase comes into my head, so I try to type it, but then quickly realize I do not have an Arabic keyboard, nor does anyone who reads this (that I know of) speak Arabic. But at least that means I'm learning!

So I've realized that while I know a lot about Muslim societies, most people don't, and y'all are probably pretty unaware of what my life is like here. (Oh sidebar, 5 of us in our program always hang out together, and 2 are from Texas. They say "y'all" all the time, and I've already picked it up. And I like it. Oh, and Texas - totally stereotyped . . . my new friends are awesome, and they aren't even from Austin.) So anyway y'all, life is very different here in Amman, especially for women. I have a lot of information I'd like to share. I've given up on organizing it in my head, let alone here. So I'm just going to throw a list of random facts, anecdotes, etc. at you. Basically whatever comes to mind.

I wear long sleeve shirts and baggy pants every day. I did not even bring shorts. It's summer. In the desert.

Water is scarce. Like super scarce. Like no way are you supposed to shower every day. Every other day. Seven minutes tops.

Add the last two together. I kinda smell.

You eat a lot of shwarma here. It's like the Middle Eastern version of Taco Bell. Also, you get sick of eating hummus real fast.

If you're a woman, you don't make conversation with the taxi drivers. Ever.

The men love the song "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. I keep hearing it blast out of car stereos.

It is really, really hard to have an "appropriate" conversation here. My friends and I are failing epically.

Drivers are mejnoon (crazy). But you get used to it fast, and now I get pissed when my taxi driver doesn't drive like a maniac.

Walking anywhere (as a woman) entails every other driver honking their horn at you. There is A LOT of traffic in Amman. It's basically a constant stream of honks.

While we learn Modern Standard Arabic (MSA) in class, no one actually speaks that. So now we have to learn Ah-mee-a (Jordanian colloquial) as well.

Amman is a very monochromatic city. I'm beginning to be able to tell my way around by the fast food restaurants (Pizza Hut, Popeye's, Burger King, KFC, etc). They're my landmarks.

Apparently Pizza Hut is the best place to get pizza. (Says Jordanian acquaintance when I told him about cute, local pizza place near my apartment.)

Women are not allowed in certain cafes. No they are not brothels. Just a bunch of men sitting around smoking argileh.

Ok, I'm out. It's late here. I need my sleep. I am now sleeping thru the morning adhan though, so that's good . . .

One last comment. I really love it here. But it's hard. Amman is very conservative, and with the exception of with a few people in my program, I'm not able to be myself. There are very specific roles for woman here, and growing up sort of tomboyish, it's been difficult so far to adhere to a womanly role. It doesn't make it any easier that I'm the only girl in my class. Between the conservative society and the dust/exhaust, Amman is a bit suffocating. But I have my apartment and my new friends, and I do love learning the language and about the culture. Adjustment just isn't going to happen overnight. That said, I'm not homesick, or worried about being here for as long as I will. I'm happy, I'm safe, I'm enjoying the differences. And knowing that I can go to my apartment, run around in my underwear and curse as much as I want always helps.